thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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