I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
