I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize