Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We're too hungover to prance.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
