we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
