life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
