i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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