I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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