the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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