no, he came in my armpit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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