yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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