The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i think my cat just said my name.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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