i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
