just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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