I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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