So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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