And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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