What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
