is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
