Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
