guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize