I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
