i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
