Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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