I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
