dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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