I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize