I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
