our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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