Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
