I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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