Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
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The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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