I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
