I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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