I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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