now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
