i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
