I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
