So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
