Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
