I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize