ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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