My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
