I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do vagina's smell?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
