So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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