hotel room ftw
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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