What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
