drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Even my vagina gasped.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
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I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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