We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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