What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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