we have pet lesbian snakes
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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