why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize