You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
