Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
