Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
