He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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